I love words. I love to read them. I love to write them. I love to say them. For me, words are much more than just letters strung together; they’re magic. So, as you might guess, I also love to hear them. Words of affirmation are definitely my love language.
My husband? Not so much.
This difference in language preference caused a few problems in the early days of our relationship. My husband doesn’t end our phone conversations with an “I love you,” and he’s more likely to ask if I’ve remembered to turn out the porch light than to profess his affection as he drifts off to sleep. He just isn’t “that guy.” At first, his silence puzzled me. I would think, Does he not love me? Why doesn’t he tell me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with him?
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at this difference in communication styles. While I’m certain there are verbose men out there, I think, in general, men and women communicate very differently. When my girlfriends and I get together, we chat. There’s usually a bottle of wine involved, and occasionally a game of golf, but the primary focus of our gathering is, make no mistake, the conversation. But when I observe my husband and his buddies at a neighborhood get-together, it’s the exact opposite. They almost always find a game to watch or a grill to gather around, and any chatter is centered on that activity. Their communication is very action oriented. When I observed this, the light bulb went off. My husband wasn’t being reticent; he had been communicating with me all along. Only I had been missing the signals because he was expressing himself through a male communication code!
No, vocal expressions of affection are definitely not my husband’s thing. But what I finally figured out is that it doesn’t have to be. He may not love words, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a profound love for me. I know this because every single day he shows me. He expresses his love through everyday actions such as eating my not-always-edible cooking; watching a chick flick with me and pretending that he enjoys it; asking my opinion; playing golf with me (I am the world’s worst golfer); saying “I haven’t noticed!” when I ask him if I’ve gained weight; putting his hand on my arm when we’re watching TV, just to say “Hi”; bringing home my favorite bottle of wine (he hates wine); texting me from the next room to see what I’m doing; killing bugs; making me laugh; and working hard each and every day to make my life easier.
And when he does these wonderful, endearing things, now what I hear is “I love you” in a message that touches me far more deeply than those three little words ever could.
This is our annual LKN Men! issue—and within you’ll find the stories of some exciting local guys, each of whom is following his own passion as well as some fantastic husbands who, thanks to our readers’ suggestions, get a much-deserved page on the back. And, we want to say a sincere thank you to SteinMart in Cornelius for providing the fashions for our men; and to Team Nadine of Premier Sotheby’s International Realty for providing the incredible home that served as our photo shoot.
We always want to know about our LKN community! These are recurring features; see how many LKN people you could recommend.
Do you know a…
We want to know!
A WOTM has just moved into the LKN community, earned a new certificate or degree, or received a promotion or award…something like that.
Send us the WOTM’s name, where she works and her title, her email address, and in 1-3 sentences, tell us the news. WOTM entries are not advertisements. We will not include “for more information.” As Dana likes to say, “Just the facts, Ma’am.”
If you think you know a WOTM but aren’t sure, assume she is! Send us her information.
We celebrate the guys, too! Email us and tell us why your husband is fantastic. We feature these great guys in our February issue, but the sooner we know about him, the better!
These days, the definition of family has evolved. Throughout the year, and particularly in September, we like to share family stories. So, whatever yours looks like–if it works, shout it out! Of course, if you know another successful LKN family, who just happens to be slightly left–or right–of center, we want to know about them, also!
Work teams of mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, granddaughter, aunts, all relations!
We ask school and community leaders for recommendations, but if you know an outstanding LKN girl, age 10-18, to nominate for our June issue, please do. Girls are selected by a committee, based on the details of the nomination (so be thorough! We need a little more than “excellent grades,” please.). Include her parental contact information, if possible.
If you think you know an amazing LKN girl but aren’t sure, assume she is! Send us her information. But we’d like her parental contact info, too, please.
We love to tell the survivor and success stories of women who’ve triumphed over domestic violence, breast cancer (any cancers), rape, and other injuries and situations. Tell us with whom we should talk; tell us whose voice should be the one to convince other LKN Women they are survivors, too!
This one is a little more involved, but don’t shy away. Each December we have a Woman of Will Awards Luncheon. If you know a woman who qualifies (in your opinion is just fine!), please nominate her today. You do need to formally nominate her. If you’re not ready to complete the application, go ahead and send us an email and let us know. We can nag you to complete your nomination by the due date.
Bring it on! Tell us whom you believe would make a fantastic LKNW feature and why, in 100 words or fewer. Please include contact information. We may not reply to every recommendation, but we will read them.
*Any story idea sent in to us is considered our property. You are giving it to us.
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